Sometimes I wonder how good a friend I am.
About 15 months ago a good friend of mine e-mailed me one morning saying that things didn't feel right with her dh. So I told her to talk to him and get it off her chest. Believing it was just her 30 week pregnancy hormones, I took my kids to school. I returned home and couldn't believe the return e-mail from her. Her dh had met someone else. I felt such a failure to her. If I hadn't told her to tackle him then she at 30 weeks pregnant wouldn't be looking at life as a single parent. Thankfully they managed to salvage their marriage but I still feel a lot of guilt towards her as a friend as I was the one who led her in to that situation.
I always get that feeling of dread when friends ask me for relationship advice. Before David, I never really had a serious relationship. We've muddled through our relationship having ups and downs. But we've always come out as a team. I don't really discuss things outwith our relationship with anyone else either, so sometimes I think am I treading the right path here.
Things are never easy in relationships but I think the essence is to talk and get things off your chest but also listen to what the other person has to say and take it all on board that you are a partnership.
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1 comment:
You shouldn't feel guilty, honestly. You're a good friend because you care about her. She'll know that and I'm sure she was happy that you were there when she needed someone to talk to. It's not your fault that her husband's a git. Chances are, she had already made the decision to confront him about it and was just seeking reassurance from someone else.
I know what you mean, though. It's hard when people ask me for relationship/dating advice because I can't relate. I just tell 'em, don't ask me, I'm unqualified in this area!
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