A world of Loneliness

I got a shock this weekend. Something was disclosed to me about something which took place before my wedding to David. I'm not that bothered about what happened but more about why was it decided to tell me this weekend and why wait almost 10 years to tell me. I very quickly entered a world of loneliness and confusion asking what I did to deserve it being kept from me for so long and why choose to disclose it now. To tell me in front of friends as well made it harder as there was so much I wanted to know and ask but I couldn't do that as there were so many people around about. Instead I started the decent into my world of loneliness and hurt.

I lay in bed all night with only an hour's sleep, with everything spinning round and round in my head. I had so many questions to ask and so much I wanted to know. We managed to grab a short one to one time before shipping the children out of the way 12 hours later. I was still in a world of loneliness and eventually when we were alone a good heart to heart was had. I can see the funny side like I always said I would but my hurt lies at the fact I feel I was never trusted to be told this secret and why now did it all come out.

Time will move it on and time will heal, for just now there's alot of making up and starting over to be done. But hopefully this will be the turning point which I've felt we've needed for a while. I'm not about to throw away 10 years of marriage over it. It's in the past and I now know. But my smugness of saying I knew my husband 100% is gone and I accept I will never know anyone 100% as everyone holds a secret.

Ponderings

I want to know what's happening with the weather. On SUnday we woke up to fantastic sunshine and it was a lovely mild day. So much nicer than the horrible cold and wet weather we saw for most of January. On Sunday it seemed to be another great day so we moved Ruby out of the garage and really cleaned her hutch out and had her racing round the run for some decent exercise. Was most disgruntled when about 3pm the fog started to come down. Yesterday was a cold miserable misty day again and we met up with family who took us a hike round their park. Was glad to get home and then last night freezing fog. This morning is another gorgeous sunny/mild day yet our car is frozen solid.

Just been reading on some forums about Valentines Day. D and I have bittersweet memories of our first Valentines Day. He got food poisoning. We rarely acknowledhe it now as it's not a special day for us. We much prefer our anniversaries. 7th March when we first met, 11 may our engagement, 17th October our wedidng day. It's 11 years in March since I met David and 10 years in October since we got married. Our love has deepened in a lot of ways and we did go through some rough patches but we've always got through them. We've been blessed with 2 children who can be the bane of our lives while also enriching our lives so much with so much love and affection. They have their own quirky ways and I am so thankful to have been given the opportunity to be a mum and meet what I hope will be 2 lovely children when they are older.

Now I've been working with lots of Polish Children recently. Why does Oliver be Oliwer? Why is Wictoria instead of Victoria and Kacper instead of Casper??? I really would like to know the reason behind having odd spellings of names compared to just normal spellings. Some gorgeous kids from Poland though.