A world of Loneliness

I got a shock this weekend. Something was disclosed to me about something which took place before my wedding to David. I'm not that bothered about what happened but more about why was it decided to tell me this weekend and why wait almost 10 years to tell me. I very quickly entered a world of loneliness and confusion asking what I did to deserve it being kept from me for so long and why choose to disclose it now. To tell me in front of friends as well made it harder as there was so much I wanted to know and ask but I couldn't do that as there were so many people around about. Instead I started the decent into my world of loneliness and hurt.

I lay in bed all night with only an hour's sleep, with everything spinning round and round in my head. I had so many questions to ask and so much I wanted to know. We managed to grab a short one to one time before shipping the children out of the way 12 hours later. I was still in a world of loneliness and eventually when we were alone a good heart to heart was had. I can see the funny side like I always said I would but my hurt lies at the fact I feel I was never trusted to be told this secret and why now did it all come out.

Time will move it on and time will heal, for just now there's alot of making up and starting over to be done. But hopefully this will be the turning point which I've felt we've needed for a while. I'm not about to throw away 10 years of marriage over it. It's in the past and I now know. But my smugness of saying I knew my husband 100% is gone and I accept I will never know anyone 100% as everyone holds a secret.